You Named It Brad, and I Don't Know What To Do With That. Could you please not introduce me to your car? Because unless it's Greased Lightning or something similarly non-anthro, I don't want to meet him. Tell your car that I'm a warm person usually, it's just that I would be more comfortable if we remain strangers while I'm sitting in him and twiddling his knobs. I'm not judging you for naming your car (or your bike, o…
I come from a long line of women who love tag sales, flea markets, church basement sales, and thrift shops. I found some fun stuff at a tag sale today over on Appian Way. Tag sales are like Vegas. Bring only what you are willing to spend. I brought ten bucks. Here's my haul. Left to Right: Black ribbed hat, a little beat up guitar, a top hat, a court jester ornament that's definitely getting made into a doll. Bottom left: A jeweled pewte…
“Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.” —Steve Martin
😅😋😍 "Hey," I said to Diana, "if you get a chance while you're in the states... didn't you say your sister kept that newspaper clipping of us in high school, the one of us at the tennis courts with my dog?"
"I was a rocket ship filled with untapped potential. With Year Up, now the sky is the limit."
Dear Marketer,
Your transit marketing campaign
forces awkward metaphor and leans on tired, old cliche.
You probably spent a lot of money on this shit.
It should be better.
Hire a writer, fer fuck's sake.
Yours,
SuperLowBudge
but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. God used to be the best explanation we'd got, and we've now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. So I don't think that being convinced that there is no god is as irrational or arrogant a point of view as belief th…
Monday. Today I woke up late, ate a buttery English muffin, dropped a whole thing of iced coffee all over the kitchen floor (same floor I'd just washed yesterday, natch) and then I did nothing of any value to anyone the whole rest of the day. Except for cleaning up the spilled iced coffee. If I'd put the coffee into my body instead of onto the floor, maybe I'd have gotten more done today. But here's what I've been doing all …
Jenny and I are both binge-watching The Originals on Netflix. I called her today to find out where she's up to in the series. I myself have finished all four seasons in record time. I do not recommend pursuing such specious glory. You will rot your brain, plus your eyeballs might fall out the front of your damn skull. It's just that it's hot out, and I am unemployed at the moment. ( Please hire me. ) "Marcel has just taken over th…
"Small black coffee, please." "We don't have small, we only have medium." "...that's impossible." (blank stare) I tried again, "What's the smallest size? "We just have the one size."
"What is happening right now?" For a good three seconds I thought I was on a reality show. Like Hal Sparks was going to come out from the back and give one of his comedy lectures. Hal wrote this material …
Right now in Trump's America, there are Nazi-like mobs marching for their right to rid America of "defectives" and "take back their country." They wear no hoods or cloaks. They fly Confederate flags high, they call for violence and preach freedom. These are
people who view the concept of diversity and equal rights as a direct
threat to them, personally. "You will not replace us! Jews will not
replace us" i…
I'd say that 6th grade was approximately the age when a poor-to-middling American Catholic school began to guide my squad towards current events and how we connect with history. We were but plaid-clad, doe-eyed whelps with brains of soft clay. Big respect for teachers in general, but double for those who steered Gen X , and threefold for teaching at a Catholic grade school. It was a wild, windy, sticky affair. I'm still not over it.
Here…
Joe had the guys over for Lord of the Rings Risk. This game is Jacob's (in the hat). These guys play these kinds of long, complicated games. I can't even hang through the reading-of-the-instructions. Depicted here, Blake appears to be re-reading some portion of the instructions. That's Chris on the right.
