Part
of me wants to Friend every person in New England with a variant of my
last name. For all I know, we're related. Does anyone in the family know
how to spell our last name? Because it looks like we're all just
winging it. At least we're all capitalizing the P, I guess.👈
My brother Michael Lombardi (different fathers) is a handsome, talented actor. The first time I realized it for real, I'd made the trek from Boston to New York to see him in an off-Broadway production of Danny and the Deep Blue Sea. From Wikipedia: Set in the Bronx, the story revolves around Danny and Roberta who strike
up a conversation in a bar.
"He is a brooding, self-loathing young man who resorts more to violence
than reason; sh…
Can't say I saw this one coming, guys. I found out the other day that my stepfather has a daughter. My stepfather has a daughter. It would appear that, apparently, I am the last to know that Louie fathered a daughter before he met my mom. And The Daughter's half-sister reached out to me over Facebook last night. It was in a post about Louie's old store, The Karmel Korn Shop. I posted: "Do you guys think you can post any memories …
Happy Sunday, dear fine readers. I was thinking. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by incredibly talented artists. And I haven't really written about them! What, why not! So today I'm going to dedicate a little time to doing just that. First up—my mom, JoAnna Lombardi . My beautiful and talented mom started painting in her forties. First watercolors, then oils. Lots of blues and R&B musicians—she painted Stevie, Jimi, Billie Holiday, …
MIL: Says a Democrat Me: What do you mean? Me: Nothing? Nothing to add? “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” —Mark Twain Me: Every day it’s more dangerous. You have to stop watching Fox News and get on the right side of history. MIL: maybe CNN, MSNBC, etc are the ones spreading false news. They never show both sides, only theirs. Me: Well, what’s the “other side”? Me: For
the record, we haven't watc…
I
see a family resemblance to the 20-year old guy on the far right. That's my actual father, Ralph Onofrio. This
band was called The Beret Trio, he's the drummer. Here's me at eighteen.
What do you think, am I an Onofrio?
First there's the round-up of "Shittiest Twitter Takes," where I post tweets displaying the dumbest shit I have ever heard in my life. Like when Donald Trump Jr. threw himself into the Pocahontas attack on Elizabeth Warren by feigning wonder (unconvincingly) as to why people aren't protesting Disney, too. He was trying to push the idea that Disney is just as offensive as president Trump because Disney made an animated story of …
I changed my Twitter photo to the one of Halloween...likely 1979? Michael's just a baby. I think I'm wearing my first school uniform, before they changed in 5th grade. I bet mom took it right after I got home from school to find my brother so excited for Trick-or-Treating that he wore his Jaws costume all day. You could say I have no costume, or viewed another way you could say I'm dressed as the lead in " Tales of a Fourth Grad…
Today I talked with Sharon for nearly three hours. "AUNTIE Sharon" is what she'll say to that sentence. Yes, Aunt Sharon, in that she is one of Louie's little sisters (there's a load of other aunts). But Lou is my mother's husband, not my "bio dad" nor my "on paper" father at all, and regarding that fact, the Lombardi family (including those other five aunts) never let me forget it. Not for a day. Ex…
The family is not close-knit. No one spoke of my grandfather James DiPoala; I was never told about his life, his years in service nor anything
about him or his personality. All I knew growing up was that Grandpa
DiPoala was "shell shocked" in the parlance of his time, and the reason he didn't live at home with Grandma was that he'd become
violent then deteriorated to the point
where he no longer recognized her or his child…
We do not have your typical mother-daughter relationship, JoAnna and I, to say the least. If I tell most people even one thing about my mom, they think I must be making her up. Like my weird and awesome imaginary friend. But she's real! What we lack in tradition, we certainly make up for in...well I don't have a word for it yet. Take today's realization, okay? You guys will get a kick out of this. This is bananaballz. And this could…
Two Aprils ago, on my 45th birthday, I penned a semi-serious list of 45 Things I Know as a way to commemorate the occasion. People seemed to like it. I suspect the reason why that particular essay was met with such unilateral applause is that most of my friends assumed I'd be dead by now. * The thing about writers is that we live an observed life. I have whole scenes in my head, as do most writers I presume, that vividly recall events both maj…
Today is my mom's birthday! I called her first thing this morning to wish her a happy day. Because it's a Saturday, Louie doesn't have to work, so she has the whole day planned. But first, out to breakfast, so she had to get off the phone. We set a time to talk next week. When we do I'll ask how today's plan turned out. There is always a story.
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