Throwback Thursday: 1974

I had this blue dress when I was four. I hated that dress so hard, I needed all five senses to hate it with, and maybe another half a sense I made up during a tantrum.

The color reminded me of something gag-reflexingly bad, but I don't remember what that was, exactly. I wonder if maybe I associated the sky blue hue with those "wedding almonds" that my grandma Maggie always had, for some reason, in a bowl in her house. Revolting, yet I had to keep checking to make sure I hated those almonds. For more information on me and my perpetual fatness, see chapters 18 thru 24.

My blue dress was made from stiff, unforgiving material, like it was originally meant for outdoor furniture or shower curtains. I bet if I burned it, that thing would simply melt.

The fabric felt unpleasant to the touch, but that was nothing compared to what it felt like against my skin. Especially around my back and shoulders, it felt like being tickled all day with Brillo pads. The collar scratched my neck.  So uncomfortable! 

Not only was I uncomfortable in literal sense, but I felt totally pantsless every time I had to wear that dress. It was so short! Even though I was only four, I did not approve of these underwear-showing dresses. My underwear were nobody's business. Such a fierce, serious little bambina.∎ 

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Operation: Organize

Alright everyone. We have reached the final frontier. Today it's time to go deep into my studio. 

What it lacks in size, it makes up for in volume. I've had bags and boxes Tetris'ed in here for years, and I've just hauled everything out and now you can't see the living room anymore. Cover me, I'm goin' in...∎

🎮

Here, let me Google that for you...

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How Did I Get So Lucky?

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A Bitch In Time

I need to sew up some holes in stuff I like. Cuz this is charming.

Doles Orchard - Limington, ME

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The Great Purge: The Monday After

Dear Diary

Monday. Today I woke up late, ate a buttery English muffin, dropped a whole thing of iced coffee all over the kitchen floor (same floor I'd just washed yesterday, natch) and then I did nothing of any value to anyone the whole rest of the day. Except for cleaning up the spilled iced coffee. If I'd put the coffee into my body instead of onto the floor, maybe I'd have gotten more done today. But here's what I've been doing all week...

• I re-arranged the porch furniture and fixed it up so it looks nice. Joe's been enjoying sitting out there of an evening, with his feet up, enjoying our little urban oasis. I brought one of my stone gargoyles out there to sit with my little plants (basil, thyme and rosemary). 

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Happy Birthday, Lucille Ball

You fantastic, immortal superwoman.
The world would be so beige without your brilliance.
Happy Birthday, Lucille Ball!

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I admit that I was skeptical about this "garden in a can" thing.
But...
Porch basil! 

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Job Hunt: Two Weeks In...

Yeah, it's like that.

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Your princess is in another castle.

Your princess is in another castle.

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Women's March, Boston Common
Because fuck this guy.

The pin on my purple beret is gift from my Jenny.
At our 20th college reunion (2012) she surprised our group of five by giving one to each of us.
My girls are always with me, but especially today.

Related: The Revolution Will Be Digitized

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If It Weren't For My Horse

There should be a word for what happens to your brain when you overhear a stranger say something so incomprehensible that it lodges in there, like a sliver of dumbness you can't extract.

You and this person pass each other on your way through your lives, they drop an enigmatic nugget on you and keep right on going, and then you think of that person. Like, forever.

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Happy Birthday, Yvonne

Yvonne de Carlo was not only beautiful, she was also a dancer, singer,
and she played the harp.
I was so in love with her when I was little.

 Happy birthday, Missus.

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Oscar

If, with the literate, I am
impelled to try an epigram,
I'd never seek to take the credit.
You'd all assume that Oscar said it.
- Dorothy Parker

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Happy Birthday, Madame Parker

Dorothy Parker.
What a dame.

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"Other than that, the science is rock solid."

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

I turned to Joe and said,
"It would have taken about a week to program that light show using 80s technology."
He said, "Other than that, the science is rock solid."

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Fuck off, cough!

 They don't know why I can't shake this cough.
Be happy to see the end of this damn thing.
Thanks for all the love and sympathy!

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High Fidelity

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Reflections? Me, my turn? Oh, um...where to start...

Feels at once, somehow, like a slog of marathon and a brief page flip. Let's sum up: 2015 was a rebuilding year.

I've learned what an incredible man my husband Joe Kowalski really is, and I've learned how lucky I am that so, so many of you are truly real friends. I can't begin to even express...what can I even say, you guys rallied and saved my life. That's real.

I've learned about mental illness and self-respect.

2016's theme is going to be personal health -- nutrition and exercise and sleep., I need improvement in all three areas. When done right you can feel like a whole new person, so that's the goal.

What else...well I think Joey and I should get wedding rings. We skipped that part when we got married in Vegas.

Also, I've sketched out a plan for starting a book in 2016, about what happened to me in 2014, and I have a good feeling about it.

Most of all, my new job...I can't say enough...they've kept every promise they've made since I met them fourteen months ago, including...last week, just signed an offer letter taking me from hourly to full-time/salaried at a decent rate, plus a metric ton of stock options with the warm inclusion of "you are considered a founding member." It really boggles, to compare to the "old job." (Hear that, asshole? Founding member. It's supposed to mean something.)

The satisfying sensation of waking up every day eager to get to work, and enjoying the work itself as well as the people, a positive work/life balance, mutual respect and a seat at the table. Guys, you can be happy at work. I've said it before but it bears repeating, advice for anyone unhappy: change it. Change what's making you miserable. Don't waste another year bogged down by dreadful misery because you've been worn out, worn down to expect nothing but indifference, disappointment, disrespect, exploitation and a string of broken promises.

2016, it rings crisp and clear, doesn't it? It just has that springy, upbeat sound to it when you say it.

2016. Happy New Year: let's make that true, everyone.

Peace.

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