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Sunday, April 23, 2017

Cheap Chic: Neither/Nor

So tell me if you think this is weird.

On Tuesday (4/18/2017) I called Cheap Chic. "Hello!" I said to the female  who picked up. "My name is Michelle, I'm a local, I come to Cheap Chic all the time. The reason I'm calling is to ask if you guys could maybe bring your box of vinyl out from behind those shelves? Since Saturday is Record Store Day, I'm planning to walk around and shop for records. Yours used to be on a shelf at waist-level and people could just thumb through them. Now they're on the floor, behind those racks of old office equipment, and it's dusty and cramped back there. The records are hard to get to, so I thought if I called you could pull them out for Record Store Day...?"

"Well I would argue that they're NOT hard to get to. They're behind the shelves at floor level."

Uh...yes, well. You could "argue" that, I suppose. But I just told you that "behind the shelves at floor level" is, in fact, hard to get to.  You just said the same thing back to me, only your thing makes no sense.

Here is the back story: Since Store 54 closed last May, Allston Rock City does not have a record store anymore. Yeah, that's fairly astonishing, I know.  But we DO have four thrift shops in close proximity that have a fair-to-middling vinyl collection. So take a nice walk, come home with some cool records, it's nice. But the last few times I went to Cheap Chic, I was puzzled that there were no more records. The box of records was gone from where it had always been. They sell junk at dumb prices, so I poked around and left each time.

Last time, about a month ago I guess, I decided to just ask. "So hey, you guys don't have records anymore?"

"Oh, we do," said probably-the-same-person-who-answered-my-phone-call last Tuesday. She pointed to the dusty rack of old office equipment (is there really a market for 90s-era fax machines?) and told me the records are "on the floor behind that shelf."

Oh...huh...well, that explains why I didn't see the records. I went over to look, walked past the rack ("...where?...") then I peered behind the shelf...I saw the records. It doesn't even look like you're supposed to go back there.

I left.

My phone call was supposed to help both of us -- Cheap Chic and me. I hate the #@$%#*@  phone, that's how much I love shopping for old vinyl at my local thrift stores  -- that I actually took time out of my day to look up the number and call with this request, hoping someone could maybe put out the records. For Record Store Day.

I mean, it's not me, right...this was weird, yeah?

Here is what I say directly to you, Cheap Chic.

1. You no honor the Record Store Day, you off my list every other day.
2. Normally a store does not "argue" when a customer tells of a problem and makes a simple request. Nobody knows you even have records, ya knuckleheads.

In sum:

1. Cheap Chic is neither cheap nor chic
2. Whoever works there likes being "right" more than making any sense whatsoever.
3. None of us need to go to Cheap Chic anymore.

- Yelp, 4/23/17

Friday, April 14, 2017

If You're Not Following Cher, You're Twittering Wrong

I love Cher. I love that sonorous voice. I love her brass balls attitude. I love her in every movie she's ever been in, especially The Witches of Eastwick. I love Cher so much that I even love total strangers who also love Cher.

Whether or not you're a fan of this perpetually raven-haired Gen X icon, you're missing out if you're not following Cher on Twitter.

The key to Cher's Twitter brilliance? Chick's got some serious emoji kung fu. It's only like the best thing ever done with 140 characters.

Cheroglyphics: Explained

7 Best Tweets (March 2017)

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Married Filing Jointly

Thanks to a Vegas chapel and H&R Block, Joe and I have new pet names, or insults, depending on circumstance and inflection.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

If It Ain't One Thing It's Your Mother

Hanging out on West 57th
c. 1982
Today is my mom's birthday! I called her first thing this morning to wish her a happy day. Because it's a Saturday, Louie doesn't have to work, so she has the whole day planned. But first, out to breakfast.

We set a time to talk next week. When we do I'll ask how today's plan turned out. There is always a story.

JoAnna, aka JoAnna PajamaMamacita, or Jo, is just over 16 years older than I am. If you are currently navigating the world with a teenage child, ask me about having one of those creatures for a mother. I have stories, man. And so does JoAnna, both from the perspective of being a teenage mom and then, in the blink of an eye, raising an intense teenage girl. Two tempests in the same teapot.

We agree that the years have been a wild ride. Even when we were spinning in the same direction the two of us could collide and make thunder. Sometimes we fought, sometimes we just didn't talk. There was a lost decade in there when we spoke not a word.