They've got me on Zoloft now. I haven't really been on a true anti-depressant. Well I did try Prozac back in the beginning but it didn't seem to be doing anything for me. I have hope for the Zoloft. I'm still taking the Haldol and Depakote, too. The thing is, the team of doctors doesn't seem to agree on what I am actually going through, here. What exactly is wrong with my brain. One doc, the one on staff inside the psych ward, had the thought that at age 43 I've become bi-polar. It's not impossible, there
is such a thing called late-onset bi-polar. Bi-polar is usually something diagnosed when you're in your twenties. As for the manic-depressive suggestion, I am not going through any mania. Just depression. The other thought is that it's psychosis with depression and anxiety. The other thought is that it's anxiety and depression. But then there was that one psychotic episode back in February...can that happen again? Was that a one-time thing? Nobody knows.
It's been five months and I've been treated with several combinations of drugs. It is frustrating, but with the time that passes comes updated ideas on what parts of my brain to treat with which pharmaceuticals, and as the treatment goes on they're working to figure out what's even wrong with me.
This is day 3 of Zoloft. It takes five days to affect the brain and about two weeks to start working.
I'm wary of all these medications, but everyone that is part of my group (not an official group, I am referring to my Facebook cheerleading cadre of friends and family supporting me in this) has said that you need to allow the process of experimentation with the drugs. That it's a necessary part of recovery, not to shy away from the process but allow them to try different things and find what drug or combination of drugs is going to work for me to make me feel better.
