Oscar

If, with the literate, I amimpelled to try an epigram,I'd never seek to take the credit.You'd all assume that Oscar said it.- Dorothy Parker...

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Happy Birthday, Madame Parker

Dorothy Parker. What a dame....

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"Other than that, the science is rock solid."

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.I turned to Joe and said, "It would have taken about a week to program that light show using 80s technology."He said, "Other than that, the science is rock solid."...

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My Sinus Problem

Well, this explains a few decades. The black area is a clear sinus.The other side, where it's mostly gray, is my "chronically blocked" sinus cavity.Because of my microtia, I may never have known what it's like to breathe right.My surgery is scheduled for November 8th.Election Day.Also I've got a deviated septum....

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When ordinary people try to write instructions

Please do not dispose of paper towels or sanitary napkins in the toilets. Please use the waste baskets installed of the walls of each stall for such. Thank you Management.Guys, what? The term "sanitary napkin" is hilariously outdated,and the rest of this sign I can't even discuss.How about:Please do not flush feminine products, baby wipes or paper towels. Use trash receptacles....

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Throwing Back to 1984: Van Halen

From ages 8 to 12, or from the self-titled debut to Diver Down, I was a Van Halen poseur. I pretended to like them. During this period I drew the band logo on my schoolbook covers, and I made my own shirt with an iron-on transfer from the Skate Odyssey shop (you had to get a baseball jersey for an iron-on transfer, or just don't even bother.) In reality I hated baseball jerseys and I couldn't have named one Van Halen song. Why all this pretending?...

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Esprit d'escalier

I love French and German for the supercharged bon mots that have no translation in English. Let's see, ten of my favorites... Ersatz Schadenfraude Klatch Dreck Blitzkrieg   Rapport Malaise Deja vu Soupcon Esprit d'escalier Esprit d'escalier is a delightful term. Literally "stairway thoughts," that's when you think of a snappy comeback to a person who's just insulted or embarrassed you, but you think of it way too late, as...

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Another Old Cat Story

Near the end of our ten-year couplehood (but not our ongoing friendship) Hub and I had four cats. It was all my fault. I love cats. The antics of those little buggers made a bunch of excellent stories for my Diaryland diary, including the one reprinted here. It should be noted that Hub and I first met at age 14 backstage at a theatre and worked crew on many shows together. We both have a thing for theatre. Quality theatr...

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