Yes, I UnFriended You "Over Politics"

No, I Do Not Feel Bad About UnFriending

Okay, I've been sitting on this one for years, partially due to the PTSD, troubling lack of focus and struggle with writing in general, and partially due to uncertainty on whether or not I'm even right. But no...I'm right. I was wrong to question myself about this, but first thing first: what do we mean by "over politics" anyway?

In the parlance of our times your "politics" comprise and embody your beliefs and principles as they pertain to governance, both abstract and in particular. In the abstract, your support for "small government" makes you "conservative" by definition and on this hill you stand strong. You may hold beliefs that government has no business messing in your personal life, citing "it's a free country" and so forth. In particular, maybe you believe you shouldn't be forced against your will to sign up for any health insurance, or vaccinate your children, or if you want to keep a cow on your land and drink her unpasteurized milk every day, the government has no say in the matter. Perhaps you object to the idea that government should foot the bill for shoring up the lives of poor, sick or disabled citizens by providing any sort of nutrition, medicine or housing because of the astronomical cost. Maybe you lay awake at night worried about the national debt because, sure, let's go with that. Weird. But you're endowed by rights to support whatever body politic aligns accordingly.

Your politics reflect who you are as a voting member of the national populace and as a human being, whether or not you self-identify as "conservative" or "liberal" or any other recognized political party. Put aside these hasty labels. Take "party" out of it entirely! It doesn't matter what label you apply to your politics, but it does matter what your politics make you say and do, how you make me feel, how you act towards neighbors, towards strangers, what harm you're inflicting with your "politics." It's not me who decides if you're Friend or UnFriend. You're the one doing that, so if we're UnFriends now, that'll be because you said and did things that made it crystal clear: you're not My People.

Not My People

Here's who I simply don't care to know. Greedy people. Mean people. Nasty people. Manipulative people. Selfish people. Hurtful people. Small-minded people. Cheaters. Liars. Thieves. Bullies. Pretenders. Gaslighters. People who are always right no matter what. People who conflate their private, personal beliefs with laws of the land and then cry persecution when the other billion people around them don't participate in their twisted little game of Simon Says. Intolerant people. People who aggressively take part in "Othering" and then want extra points for "a black friend" or a gay co-worker. Racists. People who enable racists. Did I say Liars? Misogynists. Dicks.

The nice white folks who freaked out when their twenty-something son fell in love with a woman from Ethiopia. "Is she BLACK?" and "Don't you dare bring a black girl to dinner" were some of the things they said. In later years, those white people would deny they'd ever said those things. This is gas-lighting at its most brazen, until the day came they had to own up. Even then, no reversal nor  apology. To wit, "...yeah but then we met her and we liked her!" Congratulations, you're racist. To be so aggressively against a person without having met her, based solely on the only information you had about her is the literal definition of what "racism" means. You get zero points for "but then we met her and we liked her." Zero.

The loud white man who married a brown-skinned woman who bore him a brown-skinned child. He votes for Trump, he defends the hateful immigration bans and rounding up and detaining of brown-skinned people who may or may not be "legal," then proceeds to finger-wag his liberal friends, taunting and calling them idiots and "libtards" who want "open borders." Congratulations, you're not only racist, you're also super-confusing. No points.

The suburban mom who thinks "voting for a racist doesn't make a person a racist" and feels good about it. Zero points.

The girls from high school who looked down their noses at classmates who didn't happen to be born into land-owning, wealth-hoarding families and are still the stuck-up, entitled people today that they were when we were teenagers, posing with Trump signs in Trump tee-shirts and posting about "them" in negative terms. You're still "othering' people as adults? Well, I'm "them." Your privilege is still ugly. Gross. You get NEGATIVE POINTS.

My People

Here's who I call Friend. Nice people. Good people. Kind people. People who keep trying to become nicer and better and kinder. People who read. People who listen. People who carry love in their hearts. Compassionate people. Curious people. People who learn. People who appreciate other people. Struggling people, successful people, sad people, happy people. People who help, people who ask for help, people who care. People who get mad, people who get sad. People who make mistakes, people who apologize. Devoted people, humble people, proud people, confused people, thinking people. Honest people.

Someone That I Used To Know

It's possible that you've always held these troubling opinions and I'm only just finding out because of Facebook. It's possible that we weren't even Friends in the first place, in which case, don't sweat it. It's also possible I miss you, but it's more like I miss the idea I used to have about who you were before, in which case, when you tell our old funny stories, and you can say we're UnFriends because we've moved on. Think of it like a divorce due to Unreconcilable Differences. Tell your new Friends I'm someone that you used to know. It's also possible that you're a huge disappointment right now, so I guess let's just be civil when we see each other. But that depends, honestly, on how much of an asshole you are; you could be the literal worst. In which case, in the parlance of our times, bye Felicia. ∎