BLOG

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Sorry Haven't Written Again

I know I've been quiet. I guess I have good days and bad days. On the bad days, I feel seized by a kind of paralysis that gets me so fully in its grip that I can't seem to function, I mean I can't get myself motivated to get on the exercise bike, to even do the dishes. Those days are a trial because without the motivation, I slip deeper into depression and it's a downward spiral. It's so hard.


It's hard on Joe and that makes me feel so bad, but when I'm in the grip of it, it feels like there is nothing I can do. But I'm going to try harder to get out of the grip of the bad days.

Today I feel hopeful. I have a load of laundry going, and later today I'm going to meet someone out. I'm going to the store as soon as the laundry is finished and I have something to wear.

I want it to be a good day.


Related Posts:

  • I Wish I Could Give My Brain A New Battery Six years ago my brain broke. I had a breakdown, several stays in the mental ward, so much therapy, both one-on-one and in group. Though I've experienced some good periods, for example I held a part-time job for two and a half years, it's been mostly a grim struggle. I have therapy once a week, so… Read More
  • Out like a lamb my ass. It's a fierce month of Marpril. It's the Eleventy-ninth of Marpril and the wind is blowing down trees and taking the siding off triple-deckahs in Allston Rock City. It's been a rough month, kids. … Read More
  • Hot Head v. Cool Head : Who Really Prevails? I'm among those who did not tune in to the Kavanaugh hearing today, because I've had enough. Of everything. And all these old white men. But I see from all of your posts and tweets that the "honorable" (that's laughable) judge had himself a little mantrum today, is that right? This reporting ha… Read More
  • Lockdown Notes: Assembling Jigsaw Puzzles Joe finished our Boston puzzle today. It's a graphic illustration of the city drawn in black and colored in, bearing names of all the landmark buildings and attractions such as Quincy Market, Faneuil Hall and the State House. He finished it so fast. It feels so strange to finally see this Boston… Read More
  • The Big Clench: Grateful Thru Anxiety My stomach is constantly clenching and aching. I'm scared and anxious. But I'm trying not to fixate on the horror and instead be grateful. I am grateful for so many things. I am grateful that: I cook.  I cut my own hair, and Joe's hair too. I love where I live. We can still afford cable TV k… Read More