Friday, September 21, 2018

I Believe Christine Blasey-Ford

In high school, I had a good friend invite me to come babysit with her. Unbeknownst to me, she had also invited two older boys. I knew these guys (small town) but we weren't on a first name basis. Before long, my friend went into another room with one of them, leaving me alone with the other guy. Sitting far apart, he and I made uncomfortable small talk within earshot of what was clearly wildly enjoyable sex. My free-spirited friend was sexually active, but I was not and had no plans to be quite yet, but there was a palpable feeling that this guy was expecting sex too.

That was 32 years ago. I can still tell you everything about the old house, how far back from the road it was, the way the room was decorated, how it smelled, the sounds I heard, the vintage top I was wearing, the plaid shirt he was wearing, his scuffed sneakers. And I can also tell you about the phone call I made to my mom to say COME AND GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

To be clear, this guy did not touch me. Then my dad quickly came to get me, no questions asked. I was safe. Even so...the situation was still fraught, because I had not asked, nor expected, to be in it, and during a time like that, senses are heightened and details are cast into memory.

32 years later I know exactly who that boy was. I can still see his face, his shirt, his sneakers, and I can still see the Frisbee he was holding and spinning idly as we sat there. It was blue and white.

I got out of the situation, but I remember every detail.

Dr. Christine Blasey-Ford barely made it out of the situation. If you don't think she remembers, then you really just don't get it at all. Like, at all.∎

Sunday, August 26, 2018

You Guys, Neil Simon Died

My drama club did the female Odd Couple in college. My role was, as always, backstage, as I have zero talent. I was drama club co-chair and stage-managed most shows. Even though my crew and I had no "on stage" parts, we did get applause during it...may I boast...? I loved this so much.

I love dressing a show. Opening act, Olive Madison's apartment is a right proper mess...garbage everywhere, you can't see the table top for all the fast food containers, newspapers etc. In our theatre in college, we had no curtain to bring down, so the changeover from Olive Madison's apartment pre- to post- Florence Unger moving in, it needed to be fast, and it had to not take the audience out of the mood. They'll be watching the set change, sans curtain. We couldn't be bumbling in like a bunch of dorks.

Here's what I came up with: Each prop, each "mess," though it looked like a big ol' random pile of stuff, was a prop of a single piece. For example a blanket that was strewn over the couch had actually a bunch of "garbage" items sewn/glued to it. The mess was the illusion, as the whole area could be picked up as one piece. Each table top had a covering, cereal boxes and various other detritus sewn/glued to it. Take hold and walk off with Olive's whole mess, leaving a neat, shiny Florence table with a tasteful bowl of fruit. A rug rolled up and with it, poof! There went the entire floor full of crumpled papers, soda cans and underwear. The whole set went like that. Swap an "overflowing" trash can with its exact twin that's empty, etc.

Silently we walked on, took one or two props in hand, and walked off. And there were five of us so we did this in a planned-out choreography, each crossing in from left/right and exiting the other side quietly and quickly. We'd run it so many times during tech week that it was really a ballet.

Because the house lights would be up during this set change, me and my crew dressing in black had nothing to do with the usual reason for stage hands to dress in black...we are fully visible. Normally the set change is meant not to be noticed or seen, but not this time. You guys, it was so cool. A second after the last crew member made the final change, the audience exploded in applause. For the set change! Rightly so! I was SO PROUD. That final crew member was Andrea Beatty, who smoothlt entered stage left with a big, full-leaf fake plant, took the dead stick out of the pot, inserted the "live" plant, and exited stage right...the house lights dimmed the moment her heel disappeared backstage, and then big applause. For the set change.

I'd never seen that happen before. No YOU cried, shut up.

I loved that show. So fun. Thank you, and rest in peace, Neil Simon.

Prolific playwright Neil Simon has died at the age of 91.
(© David Gordon)

Saturday, August 25, 2018

#AskForTheButter

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip was a solid show. It was on during a dark period in my life when every TV show that I loved was getting canceled. I made a list at the time, it's probably in the old blog archives. Studio 60 was Aaron Sorkin's first project post-West Wing, so it had a lot of the Aaron Sorkin players, and the overall look of the show (cameras, lights, titles) was very West Wing. Studio 60 was funny and smart. So of course it got canceled because what's wrong with people.

#StillNotOverIt
#I💓AaronSorkin
#AskForTheButter

Harriet: I got a laugh at the table read when I asked for the butter in the dinner sketch. I didn't get it at the dress. What did I do wrong?
 
Matt: You asked for the laugh.

Harriet: What did I do at the table read?

Matt: You asked for the butter.




Sunday, August 19, 2018

I was making a list of intruments my husband plays

but first I had a silverman. I think this went well.😀


    8-string bass
    5-string bass
    Headless bass with David Letterman sticker and no frets
    Baby grand piano
    Juno 60 keyboard
    DX7 keyboard
    (I'm blanking on the other keyboards)
    The Arturia thing
    The Beatstep
    KAOSS pads
    Acoustic guitar
    Electric guitar
    Drums
    V-drums
    Djembe
    Buffalo Drum
    Doumbek
    Uda
    Rock tambourine
    Other tambourine
    Thumb piano
    Didgeridoo
    Didgeridon't
    All those little wooden things that clack
    Triangle fer fuck's sake
    That weed was really good



Friday, August 17, 2018

Seth Myers

“Amazing. So after Trump’s public praise of Vladimir Putin,
his attorney general’s meetings with Russians,
his campaign chairman’s money laundering,
his deputy campaign chairman’s tax fraud,
his personal fixer’s secret shell company,
his national security adviser’s lies to the FBI,
his son’s attempt to get dirt from a foreign adversary and 
his son-in-law’s secret back channels with that adversary,
the person who could end up taking down 
the president of the United States is...Omarosa.”
His face is all of us.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Urban Gothic

I'm somewhat obsessed with this house and their corn rows.

Taken on December 21, 2017:
 

Sunday, July 29, 2018

#BeatTHAT

I responded to this ridiculously good looking and brainy news dude with a naughty zinger.
Or as my husband calls him, Your Boyfriend Ari Melber.



Tuesday, June 26, 2018

I just said a sentence that ended with...


"...from Christ the Redeemer 
to the nuns, 
including the elf. 
Thank you, baby."

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Wonderful Deathless Ditties



Good Boy Kitty

This morning I was out on the porch having my coffee. Next door, Lili was also out on her porch having her coffee, and I saw her big gray cat saunter over and sit next to her. Lili patted his head and stroked him between his good boy ears, and good boy kitty rubbed his good boy head against her. Such a lovely, soothing and sweet sight to see on an otherwise fraught summer morning in the city; what a good boy kitty.

I don't know that gray cat's name, and that's why I say he's a good boy, because Lili also has another cat, a whitish fluffy flufferpuff whose name is "Cleo! Cleo no! Cleo, come ON. Cleo come here! Cleo what are you doing? Cleo! Cleo? Cleo. Cleo! CLEO."

Cleo don't give a fuck.

I for one am having a hard time right now, and in Cleo terms, I feel like knocking every glass off every table and peeing in your shoes. As such, I'd just like to say a sincere thanks to all the coffee, lovely neighbors, and good boy kitties out there making it possible to stay reasonably sane in Donald Trump's America.   

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Louie

I've always been enchanted by the idea of a Frog Prince. Louie is the second creation in a new family of dolls that I'm calling Royal Street. This guy is made from neckties mostly. I don't have much left of this soft white bolt of fabric! I'll have to look for more, because I love working with it. I have about six of these pewter buttons that look like flies. I'm so glad I kept them, because of course Louie needs such a beautiful piece of bling. He's the Fresh Frog Prince, y'all.

I




Louie is for sale! Email for details. 


Kuinka

You guys, this band called Kuinka (formerly Rabbit Wilde) will be at Brighton Music Hall (formerly Harpers Ferry) on Saturday night. I, Michelle DiPoala (formerly Lexi Kahn), might go.

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Geoffrey Boy

Don't you love the way big birds strut around? I'm making some little birds too, of course, the kind that look like if they come alive, they'd hop about like chirpy little city birds. But when you look at a guy like Geoffrey here...well, when you're this proud a bird, one simply does not hop. Geoffrey Boy's got a strut. He is the first creation in a new family of dolls that I'm calling Royal Street.



Saturday, June 9, 2018

I don't understand what the pineapples are for.

The Facebook Messenger app has all kinds of stuff. I went with pineapples.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

I'm a Blogger On My Mother's Side?

We do not have your typical mother-daughter relationship, JoAnna and I, but what we lack in tradition we certainly make up for in...well I don't have a word for it yet.

Take today's realization. You guys will get a kick out of this. This is bananaballz, and how fitting a thing to randomly occur on Mother's Day.

Joe is writing some new songs in French, so I was rooting through my junk trunk looking for an X-rated French comic book that I know I have somewhere around here, when I saw my baby book.

This thing is a baby shower item for sure. It's called Through Baby's First Years with Dr. Dafoe. Inside, it's illustrated with sweet watercolor paintings of cherubic baby girls. There are empty spaces and the idea is that mom fills in the book with important dates, such as date and time of baby's arrival, first spoon feeding and so forth. There's also spaces to fill in names, like doctors, godparents, and people who came to my first birthday party. Dr. Dafoe includes useful snippets of advice and what-to-expect notes about babyhood such as nursing, first teeth, talking and playthings. In this manner, moms of the 1970s could chronicle the milestone events in a baby's first five years up to kindergarten.

JoAnna didn't fill out the whole five years. Her last page is my third birthday. That makes sense because I know what was going on with her when I was three. I'm sure it was a crazy time. On this third birthday page, the list of presents and who gave them to me is crazy. Some guy John gave me five bucks! Who the hell is John? And Benny? Benny gave me three bucks. In 1970, three bucks was like twenty bucks by today's standards. Benny, you're good people, Benny. I will make a list of my patrons, Benny, and it shall be called the Benny List.

I have no idea what happened to my book's cover, it's just a handful of yellowish bound pages. Even if it had its cover, this thing would still be a mess because it's been cut apart with scissors.

So half-finished, fading and falling apart? I'd say that's about right. Hi.

Wholly missing is every single photo that had been glued into the square spaces provided throughout the book. These empty squares have titles such as Baby At One Day, Baby at One Month, Baby's First Birthday and so forth.The photos aren't totally missing, I mean I know where they are back at my mom's house. I vaguely remember these photos. 

You guys, she wrote down when I started to brush my own teeth (two and a half) and the day I got my first haircut. There's even a swatch of my baby hair. She wrote down my first three words (Mommy, No, and Bye Bye, which is kind of too hilarious actually) and exactly when I said them.

I tell everyone that my blog is going to be 20 years old in 2020, the same year I turn 50? Well actually, as it happens, my mom started my blog for me the very day I was born. It turns out that I'm a Blogger on my mother's side.

My mother keeps on knocking me out with new things all the time. Is there nothing this woman can't do? Fer fuck's sake, you guys. 😊

Happy Mother's Day, JoAnna,
you extraordinary superhero.


Thursday, May 10, 2018

Deadline White House with Nicolle Wallace

"He is a titanic, and I mean TITANIC fraud. We have listened to this guy for many, many years in this country, on his moral high horse, assaulting the dignity of gay people, across the board. His moral preening is famous throughout the land, yet he is the most obsequious of all of Trump's cultists in the cabinet. ...We have never seen such slobbering servility by a high government official in this country than we do with Mike Pence and Donald Trump. It is amazing." - Steve Schmidt

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Sometimes I Look At My Life

Michael Avenatti: ...check my bio and you will find over a billion worth of verdicts and settlements.

Me: What's the deal with this rock.
You know, if things had been different, I could totally have been the brilliant lawyer for a splendid porn star. I'm sure of it.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Mitt Freakin' Romney



Further:

"You know, I think it's about envy. I think it's about class warfare."  Full story (opens in new page)

“My favorite meat is hot dog, by the way. That is my favorite meat,” Romney said. “My second favorite meat is hamburger. And, everyone says, oh, don’t you prefer steak? It’s like, I know steaks are great, but I like hot dog best, and I like hamburger next best.” Full story (opens in new page)



   Full story (opens in new page)

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Schadenfraude...on the first anniversary of The Fyre Festival Fiasco




Further:

The Fyre Festival was a music festival scheduled to take place on the Bahamian island of Great Exuma over two weekends in April and May 2017. (Wikipedia)

1934 villain (Babes in Toyland)
 
1986 villain (Pretty in Pink)

Monday, April 23, 2018

Admiral Jackson: Let's All Take A Beat

About these allegations against Admiral Jackson. This is a puzzling story. I smell a rat. Something is off about this whole thing.

First of all, these salacious stories about Admiral Jackson's history of excessive drinking and rage-fueled abusive rants are just rumors, at this point. That's the word missing from this national gossip train. I'm disappointed and pissed at the media furor that's treating this like it is all fact. Maybe it'll be proven true, but does it really ring true? Have the ring of truth? Because I don't hear it. I hear a Bullshit Alarm.

You've got this guy, the White House doctor. He's career military and by all accounts an outstanding person and a terrific doctor. He's had a stellar record, he's decorated. He's been repeatedly recognized by people we trust. So what is this really about?

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