Wednesday Morning

1 At the age of 50, I have discovered that my husband of 17 years is good at jigsaw puzzles. Like really good at jigsaw puzzles. I feel a little weird about it. I thought I was good at jigsaw puzzles. I am not, as it turns out, good at jigsaw puzzles. We may have tapped some hidden talent here. What if this is our ship finally coming in, because I can never do anything the normal way. Is there such a job as Competitive Jigsaw Puzzler Manager Wife?

2 Our new favorite thing: getting a box of Russell Stover chocolates and having one each night. Tonight I had two. The diet doctor is not going to be happy with me. I need to stop. Not being able to stop will be why I die, unless it's Covid-19. It will probably be first the one, then the other. "But what were her underlying symptoms?" Russell Stover Syndrome. She couldn't stop. So she died.

3 I have a question about the movie Trading Places. For example, when Louis-as-Santa comes drunkenly stumbling into Olivia's living room where she's decorating the Christmas tree, he heads for the bathroom, and she calls out, "Louie! When you come out I have a big surprise for you!" What was it? I have several other questions about Trading Places...

4 I am giving some consideration to trying beets again. I have friends who love beets now, who at one point hated beets. I have always hated beets. One of my earliest memories is being forced to eat beets and then immediately throwing up purple vomit. But that was decades ago. Maybe I like beets now. No, I probably still hate motherfucking beats. (Gagging at the thought of the talk.)

5 I'm exhausted as soon as I wake up. How are you?