Monday Afternoon

1 I gave myself a new short, flippy haircut this weekend. I was going for Charlize Theron but it came out a little Elizabeth Warren. It'll grow out in a few months to look like what my friend Jenny calls my "real estate portrait." Maybe the next time I go short, I'll buzz one side. I always think I'll do that, but then I think about the in-between time, what's it like growing THAT out? Don't you look deranged for quite a long time? What do you do? I suppose you have to start by buzzing the whole head. That would be a major disaster. I will look like an extra in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, the all-female reboot. Oh it's coming. You know that's coming. Tilda Swinton. I'm calling it now.

2 Do Zombies poop? 

3 I make a really great fried chicken tender. It's one of Joe's favorite things I cook. The trick is to pound the chicken flat, then go flour, egg, and then breadcrumbs and do season every layer, then do not eat it because fried chicken is not in my diet. No, I eat it. I eat it. If the question is ever "did she eat it" the answer will always be Yes. That works on a number of levels.

4 I cleaned the kitchen, TV room and piano room over the weekend. It feels good to have done that. It took two days to do the TV room, not because it was particularly dusty, just because I needed to take a nap part way through the job. I ended up sleeping for three hours. But the next day I finished it, even the floor. I will definitely talk about this accomplishment in therapy this week. Man, dust really collects. If today is Monday, then the last time I dusted was...February,

5 I have a question about The Matrix. It's when Neo has been aboard the Nebuchadnezzar for awhile and Tank first introduces him to the neural uploads. He's in the chair and he's got the jack inserted into his head socket. Tank skips the orientation "boring shit" programs and goes straight to downloading martial arts. Neo says, "Jujitsu? I'm going to learn Jujitsu?" Right after Neo uploads the Jujitsu superpower, he exclaims "Holy shit!" and Tank says "Hey Mikey, I think he likes it." My question is, how does Tank, an original child of Zion, know about the 1970s television commercial for Life cereal that gave pop culture the line "Mikey, I think he likes it"? Did Tank learn about it in passing, like from one of the free'd mind people, maybe another Nebuchadnezzar crew member? Maybe there's a program for in-world-Matrix cereal brands, because at breakfast Mouse says he thinks the single-celled organism cereal tastes like Tastee Wheat, which would mean Mouse is from South Africa. Tastee Wheat is a South African breakfast cereal. Maybe all this is part of the Cereal disc upload. I would like to know how Tank knows about "Hey Mikey, I think he likes it." Does he know about Pop Rocks and Coke too? Also, Life and Tastee Wheat, two cereal references seem like a lot for one movie. ∎