On the Mend

I finally feel more like myself again. I've managed to stop ruminating over the hospital and focus on doing things around the house. I've been using the "act as if" method, faking going through the motions no matter what my mind is telling me it would rather be doing (ruminating, mostly). To my amazement it has been working. I got the kitchen cleaned up and the bathroom and after being stalled for three weeks I finished updating my resume. I even...

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Introspection and an Aching Shoulder

I'm in a mode where I'm very much in my own head. I can't help it, I keep thinking about the hospital. It's as if I'm reliving the days and nights spent locked down in the pysch ward, and I can't seem to un-hitch my brain from thinking of those nurses, mental health workers and other patients. I see the hallway, the rooms, the nurses' station. I smell i...

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Act As If...

Last week my therapist suggested I try something new to get me motivated to get up and do things. She suggested role playing. Change my clothes, change what I do, change where I sit and "play the role" of the person I want to be. She said try it for a few hours a day. I've been thinking about it all week and I think the problem is that I don't know who I want to be. I don't feel like I'm the same person I was before, and I don't know where I...

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