I'm a Blogger On My Mother's Side?

We do not have your typical mother-daughter relationship, JoAnna and I, to say the least. If I tell most people even one thing about my mom, they think I must be making her up. Like my weird and awesome imaginary friend. But she's real! What we lack in tradition, we certainly make up for in...well I don't have a word for it yet. Take today's realization, okay? You guys will get a kick out of this. This is bananaballz. And this could not possibly be more fitting a discovery on Mother's Day.


Okay, so Joe was writing some new songs in French. I did some translation for him, and then I thought it would be cool if the lyrics had some nasty slang. Y'all know I love slang, or as I refer to it: XLANGUAGE. I was rooting through my junk trunk looking for an X-rated French comic book. That's when I saw my baby book.

Through Baby's First Years with Dr. Dafoe

This thing is a baby shower item for sure. Some aunt gave her "Through Baby's First Years with Dr. Dafoe." The idea is that mom fills in the book with important dates, such as date and time of baby's arrival, first spoon feeding and so forth. There's also spaces to fill in names of everyone Baby meets, such as doctors, godparents, and people who came to Baby's first birthday party. In addition, Dr. Dafoe includes useful snippets of advice and what-to-expect notes about Baby. Mom can keep notes about nursing, first teeth, talking and playthings. In this manner, moms of the 1970s could chronicle the milestone events in a baby's first five years up to kindergarten. JoAnna didn't fill out the whole five years. Her last page is my third birthday. That makes sense because I know what was going on with her when I was three. I'm sure it was a crazy time. On this third birthday page, the list of presents and who gave them to me is crazy. Some guy John gave me five bucks! Who the hell is John? And Benny? Benny gave me three bucks. In 1970, three bucks was like twenty bucks by today's standards. Benny, you're good people, Benny. I will make a list of my patrons, Benny, and it shall be called the Benny List.

Inside, my Baby Book is illustrated with sweet watercolor paintings of cherubic baby girls, now faded. Aw, ain't they so cute! Just wanna pinch their rosy little cheeks. It would seem that Dr. Dafoe only knew about pink babies. I was not a pink baby. In fact, I have never in my life resembled anything like these babies. When I was born, I looked just like I look now, but with less hair. Sorry, Dr. Dafoe. I can't believe this thing is even still around, even though it is just a handful of yellowish bound pages. Wholly missing is every single photo that had been glued into the square spaces provided throughout the book. These empty squares have titles such as Baby At One Day, Baby at One Month, Baby's First Birthday and so forth.The photos aren't totally missing, I mean I know where they are back at my mom's house. I vaguely remember these photos. 

So half-finished, fading and falling apart? That's about right. Hi, I am Michelle DiPoala. These are the Gen X Files. Welcome to the blog.

You guys, JoAnna wrote down when I started to brush my own teeth (two and a half). She documented the day I got my first haircut. and there's even a swatch of my baby hair. She wrote down my first three words. So you know how I tell everyone that my blog is going to be 20 years old in 2020, the same year I turn 50? Well actually, as it happens, my mom started my blog for me the very day I was born. It turns out that I'm a Blogger on my mother's side. Man! My mom keeps on knocking me out with new things all the time. Is there nothing this woman can't do? 😊

Happy Mother's Day, JoAnna,

you extraordinary superhero.

1970