RIP Ric Ocasek

"People tell me all the time that I look forbidding or aloof. That doesn't bother me much - I am fairly private, withdrawn, and... distant, I guess. But, um, I think that's okay."
- Ric Ocasek  
(March 23, 1944 – September 15, 2019)

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Hallowhat-the-hell-is-that?

You guys, should this year's Halloween costume just be this Trader Joe's fortifying face mask I'm trying for the first time? Am I even doing this right. It says to peel the mask apart from the adhesive and smoosh the mask onto your face. I'm paraphrasing. So far? Well. It's...wet. It says after removing the mask, rub the "serum" into your skin. Well...gross. I guess it's not the kind that dries. I don't get it, then, what's the mask apparatus for? Right now it's making me feel like my face is shaped weird, because it doesn't cover my schnoz, and who the hell's wide-set eyes is this made for? I have to sit like this for twenty minutes. It's so wet I feel like it'll drip if I walk around, also it is quite slimy and it smells like jizz. The next joke writes itself. ∎

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