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Sunday, March 10, 2019

So I've been having this recurring dream

So I've been having this recurring dream in which I need to be somewhere, but I can't leave. I'm never sure where exactly I am, and every time I have the dream the location is different. The locations and the specific reasons why I'm stuck differ. In one, I'm at a party in a house that feels familiar. More specifically, there is a party happening, but I'm alone in a back room looking for something to wear. It's dim, with some bright light streaming in from around the closed door,  otherwise the whole room is a shadowy red dimness. The room is full of stuff. Piles of clothes on tables, a rack of things on hangers, and boxes on the floor. I can't see well but, a far as my awake-self can tell, it never dawns on dream-me to look for a light switch. In that room, like in other versions of the same dream that place me in other locations, I root through boxes, piles, and racks trying to find what I need before I can exit through the door and join the party outside. I know I am expected out there at the party, and I want to go. I can hear the party. It's a dull roar, what my grade school teachers would call the sound of dozens of people all talking at once. I hear laughter and clinking. I hear the occasional voice rising above the din. It feels like I recognize voices in a general kind of way. In the back of my dream-self's mind I think about who might be out there and I keep trying to hurry up and find what I need so I can open the door and get  out there. I know I am expected out there, and I want to go, but I never do get out the door, not in any version of the dream. ∎

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