Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Smile When You Bless The Gagh!

Some are born dorks. Some achieve dorkness. Some have dorkness thrust upon them.

Today on Deep Space Nine (Netflix), Worf told everyone that the legendary Klingon warrior Kahless had said "Great men do not seek power, they have power thrust upon them." I yelled, "That was Shakespeare, mofo!" Then I messaged Joe this outrage. He was at work. So he said, "I'm gonna go find some lunch." What he meant by that is, "You're a huge dork." Later when I explained in greater detail, knowing that he wanted to hear the whole thing, with pictures and footnotes, he said "You're a huge dork," and then added "...but you're MY huge dork" and made me a cup of green tea.

Santa Is A Klingon

Painting of Kahless the Unforgettable,
from the Memory Alpha Wiki.
"He was the first Warrior King and Emperor of the Klingon Empire."
You guys. I should not be finger-wagging about a Klingon on this, the feast day of Saint Nicholas. That's like watching Rudolph and telling everyone that Santa is a giant, skinny-ass dick. Okay, I DO do that when we're watching Rudolph. Santa is a tool.

The fact is, Saint Nick is our only Klingon saint. Lots of parallels between the works of William Shakespeare and the Klingon ethos, with an extra tie-in around the winter holidays because Twelfth Night is a Christmas play. The figure of Saint Nick is said to have inspired Santa Claus and maybe also Krampus. Compounded, this is a mythical figure who is honorable, yet ruthlessly rigid about the line between right and wrong, one with a beastly nature who is quick to punish those who have acted badly, but who respects and rewards those who act with honor? Can you show me how Santa is not a Klingon?

Fa la la la la, la la, la laaaggghhh!

Who Said It? The Klingon or the Bard?

1. "Great men do not seek power; they have power thrust upon them."

2. "If we are mark'd to die, we are enow to do our country loss; and if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honor."

3. "Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."

4. "Today is a good day to die."

5. "Go honor the valiant who die 'neath your sword, but pity the warrior who slays all his foes."

6. "By the doom of death end woes and all."

7. "You cannot loosen a man's tongue with root beer."

8.  "A man cannot make him laugh, but that’s no marvel -- he drinks no wine."

9. "Life every man holds dear, but the dear man holds honor far more precious dear than life."

10. "Honor is more important than life."

Painting of St. Nicolas, our only Klingon Saint.
"Smile when you bless the gagh!"