1. Comedians With Guitars
Related: Music Makers and Dreamers of Dreams
2. In-One-Jar Foods
It never works. It just doesn't. That peanut butter and jelly in one jar, for example, ends up being a bland, pasty concoction that serves well neither the peanut butter nor the jelly. It doesn't even "spread." It lumps. Mashed between two pieces of white bread, you get a gag-inducingly loathsome sandwich that somehow manages to be both dry and slimy at the same time. Not to mention, why mess with what's possibly the world's best sandwich, the classic PBJ? Two jars.
3. High Heels
I tried, guys. For years, I tried. But I'm out. I can't walk in the damn things. In fact, I recently gave away a super cute pair of red Fluevogs to a friend, after gazing dolefully at the box in my closet for, oh, about seven years. Here's the story on those Fluevogs: I bought them because, as you may know, Fluevogs are rather pricey and these babies were an unbelievably good deal on Amazon. I'm a simple gal, but I look at Fluevog shoes the way your dog looks at you when you're having a cheeseburger. I loved them...and they hurt my feet so much. So much. I kept them anyway, all this time. I would tell myself that they're not THAT uncomfortable, that they don't pinch me across the instep THAT much. Occasionally, just to check and see if my feet had magically changed shape, I'd take the Fluevies out of their box for one teetering, crampy mince around the apartment. No. Then back into the box they'd go. As luck would have it, I have a pal whose little feet fit so nicely inside Fluevies, so finally, I brought them to her. They have a good home now, with feet who love them back. And with that comes the end of my attempts to ever be a high-heels wearing woman. On my "to do" list for this summer is a project to photograph and sell all the rest of my barely-worn collection of high heels on ebay. In the end, I'm just a Doc Martens gal making her way in a Fluevog world.
4. Cheap Candy
|It was hot in those masks.|