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Saturday, February 2, 2013

Another Bullshit Night In Suck City

"Joe thinks the reason I didn't get selected was because of the title of the book I brought to the jury pool. Though Nick Flynn's Another Bullshit Night in Suck City does make for a colorful book jacket, that's not why."

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"Can you get out of it?" Same exact reaction from every person that finds out I've got jury duty. Disappointing, people. Disappointing.

Do what you want when you get your summons, but listen to what you are saying. Don't bitch about "the system" if you're unwilling to participate. You ARE the system, sweet cheeks. Why would I want to get out of it? Why would anyone? It's my turn.

My turn was yesterday. It was a case brought against a doctor by a woman who claimed injuries during childbirth. I didn't get selected for the trial.

Joe thinks the reason I didn't get selected was because of the title of the book I brought to the jury pool. Though Nick Flynn's Another Bullshit Night in Suck City does make for a colorful book jacket, that's not why.

I don't know why I didn't get selected unless maybe it was because I told the judge about my reflexive derision for the kind of people whose petty grievances contribute to an overly litigious society, egged on by greedy, unscrupulous counsel who smell medical malpractice insurance money like sharks smell blood in the water. Then I turned to the four lawyers to my left and said, "Nothing personal." They gaped and grinned like a coifed, pinstripe-suited mummer's parade.

Mind you, I had not heard yet the facts of the case. It's just that the judge asked everyone for an honest answer about having an initial reaction. I can't help mine. I'm sick of everyone suing everyone else. Too many lawsuits, too many lawyers.

"I'm getting the feeling this particular case is not for you."

"Thank you, your honor." See you in three years.