Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Sorry Haven't Written

I haven't had much to say over the past week. I'm maintaining -- no terrifying bouts of anxiety, no dangerous dips into deep depression -- the routine of my day is keeping me on the same level. I see friends sometimes, I use Facebook to keep in touch with new friends and old ones alike. I go for my walks and I do the exercise bike for a half hour. I'm maintaining. I don't feel "right" yet, but I can see how I can get there.

Oh, my mom had to cancel their trip to see me, there were complications, but they're going to try again for next Sunday.

Overall I feel pretty okay. I just get these worries. I'm worried Joe is going to lose his job, I worry that I'm going to go blind from diabetes, I worry that I'm going to fall and break my ankle, I worry that all my hair is going to fall out. I worry about big things, little things. I worry all the time. Talking to my therapist, I found out that thinking a great catastrophe is right around the corner is common.  Some of the worries are real. The debt collectors are beginning to call. 

I'm reading a book that was recommended to Joe for me, by someone I don't know. It's call The Power of Now. It's one of those new agey kind of books where it's a pastiche of all different religions, mostly Buddhism, and it is actually helping me. It picks up where "Mindfulness" leaves off and really gets into being present, not delving into the past or future, ruminating on problems. 

I'll write more later. I have to get ready for a doctor's appointment. I think I have a sinus infection, my head is killing me.